Marriage Interview and Proposal

This section:
  • Looking at other than the face and hands of the woman
  • Exchanging Photographs?
  • Parents refuse a suitable man for marriage
  • Relations before marriage
  • Is it permissible to talk to one’s fiance over the phone (or visit)?

Looking at other than the face and hands of the woman he wishes to propose to

Question: Is it permissible for a man to look at other than the face and hands of the woman he wishes to propose to, such as looking at her hair and her neck?

Response: That which is apparent to me, and Allaah knows best, is that this is permissible without a previous agreement. He (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) said that which means:
((If anyone’s heart settles on proposing to a woman, then he can look at that which will lead him to marry her)), [Translators note: This is the hadeeth of Jaabir ibn ‘Abdillaah (radhi-yallaahu 'anhu) who said: The Messenger of Allaah (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) said:
((If any of you has proposed to a woman, and if he is able to look at that which will lead him to marry her, then he should do so))]
As regards a previous agreement, then it is not permissible to look at more than the face and hands.
Shaykh al-Albaanee
Fataawa Muhimmah li-Nisaa. al-Ummah – Page 138

Exchanging Photographs

Exchanging photographs (for the purpose of marriage) via the internet

Question: Is it permissible for a woman to send a photograph of herself via the internet to a man looking to get married, but who lives far away, so he can see her (what she looks like) and decide whether he wishes to marry her or not?
Response: I am not of this opinion.
Firstly: Since it is possible that someone other than the person intended could see the photograph;
Secondly: Because the photograph does not portray the complete truth (reality). So how many photographs has a person seen, and when he sees the one photographed, finds him completely different (in appearance);
Thirdly: It is possible this photograph may remain with this man, even after he excuses himself from proposing to her, however, it remains with him and he may cause mischief with it, and Allaah is the Most Knowledgeable.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen
Fataawa Mu'aasirah - Page 77
al-Mowsoo'ah – 2027

A religious young man proposed to me but my mother refused

Question: I am seeking a solution to my problem. I am twenty-four years old. A young man proposed to me. He has finished college. He is from a religious family. After my father agreed to him, he asked me to come to see him. I saw him and was pleased with him and he was pleased with me. [We saw each other] because our pure religion has stated that I should see him and he should see me.
However, when my mother came to realize that he was from a religious family, she became harsh against him and my father. She swore that such a marriage would never take place in anyway. My father desperately tried to persuade her, but to no avail. Do I have the right to seek the Law to intervene in this matter?
Response: If the matter is as you have mentioned in your question, then your mother has no right to make any objection. Indeed, such a stance is forbidden. You are not obliged to obey your mother in matter. This is because the Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) said:
((Obedience is in what is good and right)).
Rejecting a suitable proposal is not from what is good and right. In fact, it has been narrated that the Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) said:
((If one whose religion and character pleases you proposes to you, you should marry him. If you do not do so, there will be tribulations in the land and great evil)).
If you have need to take your matter to a court of law, you would not be wrong in doing so.
Shaykh Ibn Baaz
Fataawa al-Mar.ah

Relations before marriage

Question: What is the view of the religion concerning [pre-marital] relations?
Response: If the questioner means by "before marriage," before consummation of the marriage but after the contract, the there is no harm in such relations since she is his wife by virtue of the contract, even though they have not decorously consummate the marriage. However, if it is before the marriage, such as during the period of engagement or otherwise, such contact is forbidden and impermissible. It is not allowed for a man to enjoy a nor related woman's company, either by speech, look or private company.
It is confirmed that the Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) said:
((A man cannot be alone with a woman except in the presence of [one of her] mahram. And a woman cannot travel except with a mahram)).
In sum, if that contact or association is after the marriage contract, there is no harm in it. If it is before the marriage ceremony, even if it is after proposal and acceptance, it is not allowed. Such behavior is forbidden for him since the woman is a non-relative and non-wife until they conclude the marriage contract.
Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen
Fataawa al-Mar.ah

Is it permissible to talk to one's fiance over the phone? (PDF)

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